The Woman, The Helper!

I have seen many women claim to be the Proverbs 31 woman because of her wisdom, her strength, her capacity, her business acumen, her ability to wake up in the morning and do some terrific things. Such a powerful portrait of the godly woman.  In fact, by reason of her life, this woman brought so much honor and respect to her husband that he was honored at the gate. Several women conferences have been organised around the Proverbs 31 woman. She is the ideal portrait of what every strong Christian woman wants to be.  However, we often miss the fact that the most powerful virtue that characterized her value was not all of the big and mighty business achievements and investments, but her capacity to build trust in the heart of her husband.

After the value of this woman was established in Proverbs 31:10, the next thing mentioned about her was the fact that she was trustworthy—a virtue that influenced the husband beyond the physical.

 “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.” (Proverbs 31:11)

 Trust is the firm belief or confidence in the reliability, truth, ability, or character of someone. Please permit me to say that the first and greatest value a woman brings to her home is trust.

Dearly beloved sisters, the first thing the serpent stole and destroyed in the first marriage/family in Genesis 3 was trust. Eve was deceived, and Adam trusted Eve so deeply that he did not question what she presented to him—he ate. And as soon as he ate, they both became naked. Afterwards, Adam held her responsible and blamed her for his nakedness. In Genesis 3:12, Adam said,

 “The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.”

My dear sister, can you trust someone you hold responsible for your shame and nakedness? Blame is often a symptom of broken trust. The man who once declared, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” in Genesis 2:23, now stood against his wife and blamed her for their downfall. What began as divine unity became distrust, blame, and relational fracture.

So may I respectfully submit to you this day that the first virtue of the woman—the mother, the wife—that must be restored in the heart of the man, regardless of her value or beauty, is deep trust.

Trust must come before love. Because love without trust becomes a burden, and respect without trust becomes mere performance. You cannot truly love who you do not trust. And you cannot submit to one you suspect. You think the man is desperate for respect, desperate for honor, or for sex? Maybe yes, but if the foundation of trust in his heart is not properly laid, it might be that everything else is a failure.

The truth is that your trustworthiness will give him peace and as a result, he has no lack of gain. He thrives. He excels. He wins everywhere. Why? Because his heart is at rest.  Your trustworthiness becomes his advantage. You are not just his helper. You are his safe place. No great man that ever lived in scripture did so without a trustworthy woman all around him either has a wife, a mother or a sister.  You want to see a man rise? Give him a trustworthy woman, in whom he can rest in her character. Trust is not built by words. It is built by consistency, loyalty, humility, and peace. Before her wisdom. Before her strength. Before her influence. The Word of God says,  “Her husband trusts her completely.” That is where the journey begins. 

The virtuousness of your life can be measured by the trust that has been produced in the heart of your husband by reason of your yieldedness to the Holy Spirit.

My dear powerful and wonderful virtuous women, please do listen to this Word of God. It will shape and trigger something within you by the Spirit of God. Share with all women, sisters, friends, mothers, aunties in your network. This podcast series will b