Help Him Trust Your Complaints

Complaining means expressing dissatisfaction, discomfort, or annoyance about something. At its core, it simply means you’re not happy about a situation. So, in itself, complaining is not a bad thing. It’s important to express discomfort or displeasure when necessary.

But some women complain so much, so endlessly, that their husbands have become completely used to it. He has built a thick emotional firewall, numbed to her words, because her constant barrage of complaints has made him feel like he can never do anything right. All he hears is what’s not enough, what’s not working, what’s not right. But when will he hear what is good?

Complaints lose their value when they are too frequent or lack purpose. Some women even take pride in the fact that they “can’t keep quiet.” They must say something about everything. They complain about how their husband sleeps, how he eats, how he talks, even how he thinks. He cannot pray well, he cannot cook, he doesn’t flush the toilet correctly. If she didn’t sleep well, it’s because he was snoring. If the car broke down, it’s because he didn’t buy a newer model. If the food gets burnt, it’s his fault for calling at the wrong time.

Complain, complain, complain. The in-law is a problem, the younger sister is a threat, the younger brother is a thief. His stomach is too big, his head is too small, his height is a problem. Wao… Sister Lamentation! Stop complaining and lamenting about everything.

Let your words carry weight. Let your husband trust that when you raise a concern, it is serious, timely, and filled with wisdom. Let your complaints be rare, not reckless. Purposeful, not just emotional. If not, you lose your voice and he builds walls around his heart, making your words meaningless no matter how valid they might be.

Do you know that our Mother Sarah only complained three times in scripture? The first was about herself—her inability to bear a child. The second was about Hagar, her maid, who despised her when she got pregnant. The third was when Ishmael mocked her son Isaac. And although the third complaint was difficult for Abraham, God Himself had to step in and affirm it as valid and important.

Genesis 21:11–12 says:
“And the matter was very displeasing in Abraham’s sight because of his son. But God said to Abraham, ‘Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman; whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; for in Isaac your seed shall be called.’”

Can you imagine that? God told Abraham, “I know you’re a man of faith. I called you. I blessed you. But in this matter, listen to your wife. She’s not just emotional; she’s speaking My mind. Her complaint carries weight.”

Can you be that kind of woman? One whose voice carries such weight that God would have to intervene and validate it because your heart is clean, your motive is pure, your spirit is quiet, and your words are rare but powerful?

Help your husband trust your complaint. Let it be rare, let it be weighty, let it be true. Let him say, “My wife doesn’t talk much, but when she does, I know I must take it seriously.” That’s how trust is built.